Mall War
by Ruia
Summary: Scene: Your 'Couple' wage war on each other in the Mall, dressed in military fatigues, war paint on their faces and packing spray guns. Malik/Bakura slash!


I got the idea for this from a fanfiction challenge Ice Angel Alone sent me. Thanks to her for reading it! (And, where's that fanfiction? I'm a demanding beta-reader, damn it…:D ) And for those of you that reviewed Hikari For Idiots, thank you so much! I have an idea half-formed for another chapter in my head, and I'll write it when I get a chance, promise.

Scene: Your 'Couple' wage war on each other in the Mall, dressed in military fatigues, war paint on their faces and packing spray guns.

Warnings: Slash! (Boy-boy relationships), Sexual references and overtures, slight language, possible OOC (but in certain areas… Personally, I think Malik wouldn't be as quiet with his boyfriend.)

Pairing: Malik/Bakura

Disclaimers: I don't own YuGiOh! I wish I did… Wish the anime dub followed the manga more, too… Wish many things, but sadly none of them have come true.

"Malik… what are we doing here again?"

"Shopping. You're the one that dragged me to this infernal place, you should know that."

"Yes, but not to go in _here_…"

Malik slanted a look at Bakura and shrugged. "I was bored. This store looked interesting. If I had to come with you, I might as well go in at least one interesting place."

Bakura sighed and continued following his wayward boyfriend around racks full of old clothing and shelves of odd knickknacks. He didn't see anything that interested him, but Malik stopped every so often to pick up a stray garb, either peering critically at it before putting it away again or poking fun at it. He pulled out a shirt, about five sizes too large for his wiry frame, covered in lace and tie-dyed blue, chartreuse, lime green, and a light pink.

"What do you think about this?" Malik turned, face schooled in a perfectly serious expression and voice solemn, holding it up to his chest.

"I think there's someone, somewhere that will wear that, but if you ever do, I swear I'll pretend not to know you."

"Who said it was for me?" Malik grinned mischievously. "I was thinking more along the lines of _you._"

Bakura was unable to contain a groan, and backed away a few steps, hands up in a defensive position. "No thanks. I prefer my own selection of clothing."

Malik shrugged, lips still upturned slightly, and continued on, tossing the garment to the side, much to Bakura's relief. Then, his eyes widened, and he ran into a corner of the store, dragging Bakura along by his hand as they squeezed between two close racks. Malik grabbed the corner of a sleeve hanging off the end of the bin and yanked, toppling the pile of shirts on top of it to the floor. He turned, proudly displaying what appeared to be a pair of light green tankard coveralls.

"You saw that from all the way over there?"

"Call it a sixth sense."

"Right… Eh?" Bakura blinked as Malik shoved the coveralls into his arms, ordering him to "stay right here" while he ran off. Then white-haired teen sighed, holding the uniform up in front of him to examine it. He pulled at the buttons that run along the front, peering inside and looking at the tag.

"Cheap rip-off..." he muttered. Just then, Malik came running back with an imitation civil defense helmet, colored the same as the coveralls, and proceeded to make Bakura hold it.

"What the…?"

"I saw that before. Never knew it would come in handy."

"…Okay." Bakura watched as his boyfriend haphazardly sorted through the racks and bins of clothing set along the walls, wondering if he should take the other to the doctor. He moved forward to help Malik, concerned, as the other gave a gleeful exclamation and actually fell into the pile of clothing, trying to reach something near the bottom.

"Look!" Malik popped up from under the clothing, scaring Bakura in the process, and tossed out a pile of dark colored cloth. He hopped out of the bin, tossing the stray garments that stuck to him away, and dragged Bakura to the dressing rooms.

"What in the world…? Malik?"

"Here, you go in there and try this on."

Bakura raised an eyebrow and held up the coveralls. "I am _not_ going in there to try this on."

"Well," Malik pulled back the curtain on the stall next to Bakura's and eyed him suggestively. "You can always come in _here_ with me."

"Umm, never mind." A slight blush rose on Bakura's cheeks as he hurried into his stall. He peeled off his jeans, but left his short-sleeved shirt, with the Millennium Ring tucked safely behind it, and boxers on. Eyeing the tankard coveralls doubtfully, Bakura stuck his legs in, pulling it up around his body hard. He managed to get in on all the way and button it up, but the uniform bunched around his ankles and clung uncomfortably in other places, even when the strings were adjusted.

"Bakura, are you done yet?"

"I'm not coming out like this."

"Well, then I'll just have to go in there and make you come, now won't I?"

"Gah… Umm, no." Bakura intensely disliked the way his mind immediately found double-meanings for whatever it could when it came to Malik, and the way his Egyptian boyfriend could make even the most innocent of statements seems suggestive.

Bakura slunk out of the stall, pouting. Malik pounced on him the moment he walked out and grabbed the helmet, placing it on his head, before he backed off. Bakura pushed it back, out of his eyes, angrily, then his jaw dropped at Malik's get-up.

"Not bad… not quite your size, but it'll have to make due."

The white-haired teen vaguely felt himself nod, following behind Malik as he paid for what they were wearing with a credit card Bakura's father had given him, and dragged him out of the store, still in the tankard. Malik gave the bag holding their rolled up clothes to Bakura and regarded the other with amusement.

"Going to stare at my ass all day?"

"Huh?" Bakura blinked and tore his gaze away from the ninja looking outfit the other had on. It didn't fit quite right, and was incredibly tight around his chest, down his back, and around his thighs, while looser black cloths hung down. Malik had adjusted it to accentuate his body where it would best suit him, covering up other spots; the gold jewelry he hadn't bothered to take off shone dully with the darker outfit, and the hood fell gracefully over his hair, front hanging loosely just above his lips.

"If you're going to keep on like that, let's go find an empty bathroom stall and see how fast you can get this off of me. I bet I can unbutton yours with my teeth."

"I… uh, er…" Bakura stuttered, mind already mentally undressing his boyfriend, then shook his head. "Why'd you make me buy this anyway?"

Malik shrugged. "I was tired of all those jeans and stuff you wear. Always the same."

"It's comfortable."

"It's unattractive. Besides, the outfit amused me, and I wanted to buy it. You really wouldn't expect _me_ to wear that, would you?"

Bakura sighed and walked off, not wanting to continue arguing. He heard Malik run to catch up, then leaned into the body that appeared beside him, arm casually slung over his shoulders. People stopped to stare at their choice of dress as they walked by, and Bakura felt his face grow red. The arm tightened around him, and he saw people start backing away, lowering their heads as they passed. Bakura blinked and looked up at Malik, then grinned as he noticed him glaring menacingly at everyone.

"You're a good people deterrent."

"Hmm?" Malik raised an eyebrow, then shrugged, and Bakura wrapped his arm around the other's waist.

"Oh, hey, I need new sneakers." Bakura tugged Malik to a stop and gestured towards the store with his chin. Malik merely nodded, seemingly distracted, as they went into the store together. Bakura led them through the displays of shoes, then sighed and stopped, looking at Malik.

"What's wrong?"

"Mm…" Malik nodded absently, glancing behind him, looking thoughtful.

Bakura frowned, then tried again, slightly irritated. This would _surely_ attract his boyfriend's attention. "You know what's wrong with me? Shoes. They make me horny. I think I'll go lounge out in the back of the store, covered in only whipped cream."

"Uh huh."

He growled and stuck his tongue out childishly, annoyed. "Then me and my Yami are going to put on a naughty show, because we both get off on exhibitionism."

"Mmhmm…"

"After that, we plan on going back to Yugi's house and having a big orgy with him and his Yami, because he's hot, don't you think?"

"Mm…"

Bakura narrowed his eyes and put his lips close to his boyfriend's ear. "MALIK!"

"Ack!" Malik jumped slightly in surprise, then turned to Bakura. "What?"

"You were ignoring me."

"No, I wasn't."

"Yes, you were," Bakura pointed out.

Bakura glared angrily at his boyfriend, who more or less glared right back. He puffed out his cheeks and let out a hiss a breath. Muffled giggles distracted him momentarily, and Bakura turned to see two girls behind him, trying to contain their laughter. They eyed both Malik and him up, then winked. Bakura blushed a deep red, recalling his earlier bids for Malik's attention, and inched behind his boyfriend.

Malik obligingly blocked their view of Bakura, and turned his angry gaze at the giggling girls. "Bakura, what the hell are they doing?" he whispered out the corner of his mouth.

"I… have no idea," Bakura answered, as the girls walked away. He smiled, standing on tiptoe to reach over from behind Malik's shoulders, and gave him a quick kiss on the cheek. Malik gripped the hands resting lightly on him and pulled, turning his head to brush their lips together. Bakura stumbled forward, and their heads collided awkwardly instead, noses bumping.

"Ow!" Bakura leaned back, rubbing his nose. Malik shrugged, rubbing at his own, then suddenly grinned.

"What?" Bakura asked warily.

"Here." Malik walked a few paces forward and picked up a dark-colored combat boot; he shoved it at Bakura. "I don't care what sneakers you get, but make sure to get a pair of these too, then put them on. I'll be right back."

Before he had a chance to respond, Malik was off, leaving Bakura with his jaw hanging open, one hand rubbing his nose while the other held out a boot, and a questioning look on his face. He blinked, shook his head, then continued browsing until he found a sneaker he liked.

"May I help you, sir?" A salesperson came up to Bakura when he sat down, smiling politely.

"Yes, please. May I see this?" Bakura handed the sneaker to the salesperson, then on impulse held up the combat boot too. "And this?"

"Of course, sir. Just stand up, so I can measure your foot…" Bakura toed off his old sneaker and stood, allowing his foot to be measured before the salesperson walked off. Only a few minutes later, he was handed both pairs, and it didn't take long to try them on, box them up, and pay. Bakura waited a few minutes inside the store for Malik, then decided to go outside. His foot began tapping impatiently as he leaned up against a wall, arms crossed.

"Bakura! I…" Malik came walking up to him, quickly, and frowned, looking at Bakura's feet. "I thought I told you to get those combat boots."

"I did." Bakura nodded and gestured to the bag he was holding, still unsure as to why exactly he went along and bought the boots. He waved his hand at the plastic bag Malik was holding; it appeared to be from… a toy store? 

"What's _that_?"

"You'll see in a minute. Put on the boots first."

"Why?"

"C'mon… Really, I just want to have a little fun, that's all." Malik smirked and advanced on Bakura, who backed up warily. His knees hit the edge of a fountain, and he lost his balancing, plopping down on the rim of the fountain hard and unexpectedly.

"Malik…" Bakura swallowed hard as his boyfriend kneeled down next to him on the stone edge, pressed up close. He threw his left leg over Bakura's lap, trapping the other effectively; Bakura leaned backwards as far as possible without falling into the water. Malik's arms shot out and wrapped around Bakura, pulling him forward slightly and lacing his fingers together behind the other's neck.

"Yes?"

"I… uh…" Bakura opened and closed his mouth, unable to force any coherent words. Malik grinned wickedly and shifted so he sat directly on Bakura's lap, pressing their chests together, faces centimeters apart. His head dipped slightly, blond fringe falling over his eyes as he peered up at Bakura; the tip of his nose lightly brushed Bakura's neck, just beneath his jaw. Bakura's breath caught in his throat, and soft lips followed Malik's nose, feathering teasing caresses.

Abruptly, Bakura pushed Malik off of his lap.

"Ow! What the hell'd you do that for?"

"Sorry. But I've got to put those boots on, don't I?"

"Yeah, yeah…"

"So, what's in the bag?" Bakura asked as he began to change his shoes.

"Oh, that?" Malik pulled a box out the bag and grinned. He opened it up and put the item inside next to Bakura, taking out an identical one from another box for himself.

"A… water gun?" Bakura blinked, then raised his eyebrow. "Are you feeling all right, today?"

Malik ignored the question and calmly proceeded to fill the barrel of his water gun, doing the same to Bakura's. They were silently for the few minutes as the guns filled up, and Bakura finished changing his shoes, but when Malik bent down a pulled to extra water dispensers to strap to their backs from the bag, Bakura let out an exasperated sigh. Malik proceeded to fill the tanks, despite the odd looks and exclamations from his boyfriend.

"Really, did you hit your head or something? First, you make me get into the _ridiculous_ army outfit, then you get yourself a ninja costume, and now you've got water guns! Honestly!"

Picking up one of the now full tanks, Malik strapped it on his back, connecting a tube from it to his gun. He motioned for Bakura to do the same, then sighed when his boyfriend didn't, and did it for him.

"What in the world are we _doing_?"

"This," Malik replied calmly, pumping the gun. Then he grinned and pulled the trigger, shooting a stream of water at the unsuspecting Bakura.

"H-h-hey!" Bakura sputtered, wiping the water out of his eyes. He looked up to glare at his boyfriend, only to find that Malik was running off in the opposite direction, grinning at him like a maniac. "Get back here!"

"Nope! _You_ took me to the mall, even though I didn't want to go shopping. Now, _I_ get to have a little fun."

"What?"

Malik answered by spraying Bakura again, so not only was his chest wet, but also the crotch of his pants. Bakura frowned as someone passed him, giggling at his wet pants. He took off after Malik in a run, pumping the gun. "Oh, that's IT! This means WAR!"

They chased each other around; Malik was very nimble, making full use of the people between them and other obstructions around the mall. Bakura, however, was not so agile and got sprayed again by Malik. He glared, re-pumped the gun for the water pressure, and shot.

"Oh! I'm sorry, I'm very sorry." Bakura apologized and bowed, face red, to a now wet and angry woman. He had aimed for Malik, but… "Really, I'm very sorry."

"Is that all you've got?" Malik taunted.

The reluctant hesitation Bakura felt melted into mischief, and he pushed his guilty conscience to the side. "We'll see about that!"

For the next fifteen minutes, Bakura dodged the shots Malik sent at him, getting several other people wet instead. He tried to copy the others movements, hiding behind pillars and ducking behind garbage cans. Some time later, he began firing back, and his aim slowly improved.

"YES!" Bakura shouted with glee as he nailed Malik in the back, water soaking through his hair, down his neck, and over the cloth. Malik turned, glared once, then smiled impishly and retaliated, stream colliding with Bakura's shoulder.

"Gah!" Bakura continued chasing after Malik, laughing out at him when he noticed the other's extra tank of water was empty, only the liquid carried in the gun itself left.

"Ah, shit." Malik seemed to notice this too and cringed. He tried to make a fast break, thinking to get away from Bakura and fill it up again, but his boyfriend followed him closely. Bakura had a sudden idea and grinned; he ran to the side and ducked out of Malik's vision, maintaining such a distance between them that he wouldn't be seen.

Malik sneaked up to the fountain, looking both ways for Bakura, then proceeded to take the tank off his back to fill it up. Bakura chose this moment to come rushing out at Malik and pounced on him.

"Ack!"

"Got you." Malik glared at Bakura. 

"I'm starting to rub off on you… Not that I'm complaining." Malik smirked and held onto the arms wrapped around him, pushing himself back into Bakura and gyrating his hips.

Bakura's eyes widened as he seemed to debate internally with himself. Then, he gave Malik a wicked grin and grabbed the other's hips firmly; he held them in place as he ground against Malik's backside, sucking softly at the skin near his neck. Malik gasped; he often teased Bakura like this in public, but the other never quite responded in _this_ manner. The blond teen recovered quickly, reaching back to tug Bakura's head forward and turning his own so their lips brushed each other.

"There they are!" Bakura and Malik's heads whipped around; a group of annoyed, wet people stood there with several security guards.

"Damn." Malik and Bakura exchanged a look. Bakura shook his head, and Malik frowned. The white-haired teen shook his head more emphatically, while the frown Malik sported deepened. Finally, Bakura sighed and nodded.

They both backed up slowly, hands behind their backs. Suddenly, they both pulled out the water guns and sprayed the surprised crowd. While everyone stood there sputtering, Malik grabbed Bakura's hand, and they ran off. The security guards followed, yelling at them to stop, but Malik responded by flipping them off over his shoulder and pulling Bakura along faster.

"Suckers!" Malik laughed mockingly at them as he ran out the door to the mall, Bakura in tow. They lost the guards quickly outside, but they continued going until they were a good distance away, collapsing on the ground panting.

"…Ow… Stitch…" Bakura fell back, breathing heavily and clutching the pain in his side. It seemed like forever before either regained enough feeling to move, let alone talk, but Bakura was the first to break the bordering-on-awkward silence.

"We, er, left our clothes back there…"

"So?"

"So? My new sneakers! …Ah well, I can always drag you back to get another pair."

Malik groaned. "What?"

"You had that planned, didn't you? Running around in a mall dressed as an army soldier and a ninja, soaking each other with water guns?"

"Perhaps… I always _have_ wanted to do that. Well, maybe the mall bit wasn't necessarily part of it, but… Opportunity knocked, and I answered."

"Joy," Bakura deadpanned.

"You know what _else_ I want to do?" Malik's grin was feral as he crawled over to Bakura, holding himself up with arms on either side of the other.

Bakura rolled his eyes and said sarcastically, "I have no idea."

"Mm…what I have planned for you… I think you'll like very much."

The white-haired teen couldn't help but shiver a bit at the tone of voice Malik used, and his heartbeat started to quicken. "Really? And who says _I_ want this? I never agreed to any-"

Malik cut him off, pressing their lips together hard. He opened his mouth, tongue poking through Bakura's slightly parted lips. He gasped as Malik ran a hand down his body, grabbing his crotch briefly. Just as suddenly as he started it, Malik broke off the kiss.

"Well, if you're sure you don't want this..."

"Wherever did you get such an idea?" Bakura asked innocently. "I certainly never said that."

"Of course not. Silly me." Malik smiled, kissing Bakura softly, then stood. He held out his hand and helped Bakura up. The teen immediately reached up to kiss his boyfriend again, then tugged at his hand.

"Come on, I want to go home and get out of these coveralls… and see if you really can undo all the buttons with your teeth."

Malik smiled. "'Course I can. And I'll be happy to give you a demonstration."

"Well then, what are we waiting for? Let's go!"

And they lived lemony ever after. :P I know there was no war paint, but I forgot it, and the water guns would've washed it off anyway. Hope you enjoyed! Please review!


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